Who doesn’t have fear? No one.
They say fear stands for “False Evidence Appearing Real”. If that is true, why do people still have so many fears? More importantly, can we overcome them?
The 10 most common fears that people have are:
- Failure
- Death
- Rejection
- Ridicule
- Loneliness
- Misery
- Disappointment
- Pain
- Unknown
- Loss of freedom.
Fears develop as a result of the negative associations or meanings we link to our unpleasant experience. They also arise from the horrible things we have read, seen, or heard from other people. The thoughts of facing those fears are usually so painful that many people would do almost anything to avoid them.
What determine the meaning we give to anything? It is the rules that were passed down from generations to generations, the beliefs that we were conditioned to believe from the people around us, be it our parents, friends, teachers, politicians, media… We didn’t know better to question the validity of those conventional rules or beliefs. We bought into them and integrated them into our DNA. It seems “natural” to fear those fears simply because we were taught that way.
To overcome those fears, we can start by questioning the validity of those beliefs that generate our fears. If you are afraid of rejection, for example, you might want to look for the reasons behind that fear. If rejection means someone dislikes you, then ask whether that belief is even true. Is it possible that it could mean something else? could it mean your inability to meet certain expectations. If that’s the case, what exactly are those expectations and are they even being reasonable? If they are reasonable or unreasonable, what can you do about it so you could achieve a better outcome in the future? By reflecting on your belief, questioning its validity by asking a series of questions that lead you to actions you could take or one valuable lesson, you will in fact grow from the experience (a new meaning you give to fear: an opportunity for personal development).